I have a shame problem.
My shame issues are toxic and corrosive in my marriage. It is Satan’s #1 tool to steal, kill and destroy me. It is the sin that entangles and ensnares me more than anything else (Heb 12:1).
Shame is more than a negative emotion. It has its own soul which is embodied to actively seek out all that is good in us and destroy and disintegrate our true selves and bring us down.
How do we define shame? Guilt is what we feel when something we do is bad. Shame is what we feel when we see ourselves—our whole self—as bad. Guilt is for something we did; shame is for who we are.
All that we do flows out of who we are. If we see our identity as people who are created in the image of God, whom God loves and favors, in whom the Holy Spirit lives and we are empowered to overcome any obstacle, we will live powerful lives. Satan’s primary strategy to destroy our identity is shame. Shame’s message to us is that we are broken, weak, inadequate and do not have what it takes. Shame says we are so weak, why even try?
Earlier this year, shame raised it’s ugly head once again in our marriage. I had scheduled a three-day retreat, so I decided to have the focus on my retreat seeking God to teach me about shame and learning how to cooperate with God tearing down this stronghold.
I re-read and studied the book, “The Soul of Shame” by psychiatrist and neurotheologin Curt Thompson. As I studied this book and the scriptures and concepts that he shared in it, I began to write a paper about it. There is a saying that if you want to learn something, teach about it. My way of teaching about it was to write a paper about it.
In the following months, I continued to research the topic, and pay attention to shame when it presented itself in my life. I was able to learn from my own experience in dealing with shame and refine my paper accordingly. Helping others deal with their shame is adding to my experience. While I am still a work in progress, I have learned much about this powerful weapon of the Evil One and have made progress in following Jesus’ example of despising shame. (Heb 12:2)
Click here to download my paper.